-Paula
You struggle every single day, you might feel constantly overwhelmed, confused and lost. It can seem that nobody around you understands what you�re going through. You have some smaller and bigger successes, but more often you fail. These are the signs of recovering from an eating disorder. Or doing a PhD. And even though their consequential issues seem so similar, they often don�t go together too well.
You might have successfully gotten through high school and college while battling an eating disorder. You�re still recovering and you think that you can keep working on your health while doing a PhD. Should you? Or rather, why should you NOT?
You might be surprised how big a role food plays in academia. Seminars often mean wine and cheese receptions or at least coffee and pastries. Your collaborator invites you for a lunch to discuss a new idea. Finally, you attend a conference and you eat weird food in weird times and places. No �safe� options- nobody cares that pizza freaks you out or that you don�t eat after 8pm.
In principle, there�s always an option of avoiding it, such as going to a seminar and skipping the pastry or travelling to a conference with a bag of your favourite �safe� food. This worked in college, didn�t it? Trust me, it would be definitely noticed in academia. Food is a social activity and its quality or nutritional values really don�t matter.
Let�s say you somehow overcome the difficulties connected to the frequent presence of food in academia. The problem is, you�ll still be constantly thinking about it. Analysing how much you�ve eaten and if you can allow yourself one more sandwich. Coming up with a sneaky plan to skip a conference session and go for a run. See what�s happening here? You�re supposed to be thinking about Maths/Biology/History/whatever your PhD is in. And yet, instead of listening to the keynote speaker, you�re analysing and reanalysing the nutritional value of your past and future meals.
If you did your undergraduate degree in the UK, you�re probably used to constant support: personal tutors, hall wardens etc. You knew that if you struggled, they�d be there for you. That someone will get concerned if you lose too much weight. That they�ll make sure you�re ok.
PhD is a different story. If you�re lucky (like I am), you may have a supervisor who notices warning signs and asks how you�re doing. However, in many cases advisers treat their students as paper-producing machines. They discuss with them only academic issues, the personal life doesn�t matter as long as they provide results. I�m not claiming that academics are heartless creatures, but in reality all researchers are extremely busy and most of them simply don�t have time to babysit their students.
Am I saying that if you have an eating disorder you should forget about your PhD dreams? Absolutely not! My only advice is to time it carefully. If you�re currently interested in doing a PhD, I strongly advise you to discuss it with your treatment team. Maybe in your particular case entering grad school would be actually a good idea, who knows. The abovementioned difficulties in juggling research with eating problems could even motivate you to recover for good.
If you do decide to start a PhD while recovering from an ED, ensure that:
� You get regular meetings with your treatment team, which means that if you�re moving miles away, you may need to schedule regular trips home, arrange Skype meetings or even consider a new team, if all other options aren�t possible.
� Someone (not yourself!) is checking your weight.
� You have social life, so you need to plan to meet new friends in grad school. This could be through societies, student accommodation or a research group.
� You are familiar with the support system of your university. This may include counselling services, departmental welfare officers or a caring supervisor.
� You and your team are SURE you�re ready.
PhD and ED recovery can go together. However, they both require time and determination- the more you focus on your own health now, the faster the recovery process will be. That�s why I recommend that you think about your options carefully, because entering grad school healthy ultimately increases the likelihood that you will have a better experience.
No matter if you choose to do your PhD now or wait until you�re healthier, be sure to make the most of it. Good luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment