Counting down to the next academic year: managing the fear.

Emma writes about dealing with anxiety in the build up to the academic year, and how to face it when you finally return to university.

- Emma

As I write this post I am counting down the days until my third year at university begins. I took a year out after second year to do a placement after having had a tough time adjusting to uni life. Although I feel like there is more awareness around this topic now, when I first went off to university I was so excited to start a new chapter of my life: I hoped I�d become this vibrant, extroverted and more relaxed version of myself that I blamed A-Levels for hiding. Needless to say, this wasn�t the case. My first year of uni really wasn�t what I had expected and I felt like this was all my fault. I missed home a lot more than I thought I would and I found myself comparing my not-so-great experience with that of friends at other universities who seemed to be having the time of their lives.

Eventually, summer semester was over and I had a whole 3 months at home stretched out in front of me � I couldn�t have been happier. However, as September began to creep closer, I could feel myself becoming more and more scared at the prospect of going back to the life that I had managed to avoid for the past few months, a life filled with home-sickness, deadlines, stress and � worst of all � loneliness. 

It turned out that, although second year still wasn�t the amazing experience I was searching for, it was a lot better than I feared it would be. After all, the fear and anxiety at the anticipation of something is rarely ever as bad as the reality. 

This leads me to where I am at now: a new term is almost here once again and, although I am beginning to feel the dreaded final year nerves, I am in a much difference place to this time last year. So I want to share some key messages that have helped me out this time around, in thinking about the coming academic year.

1. Enjoy the present but don�t be afraid to plan ahead. 

As much as it can be tempting to bury your head in the sand for a few more weeks and pretend term-time isn�t approaching, it won�t help in the long run and it�ll only make you think about it even more. Be prepared. Write a couple of goals or things you want to achieve for the new academic year. Problem solve any potential barriers that might get in the way. I found going to the gym helpful when I was feeling down during first year, but I stopped when deadlines became too much. This year I plan to maintain going to the gym by setting up the habit before term actually starts and choosing a gym located on my way home from campus. 

2. Push yourself 

I know all too well that being in your comfort zone can seem like the best place to be when you�re not feeling yourself or if you�re missing home. Sometimes this can be helpful and wrapping yourself up in your blankets with a hot drink can be the best way to unwind after a tricky day, but don�t let this be an excuse! Often the best thing for yourself may be the thing you really don�t want to do. For example, going into the kitchen to have dinner with a flatmate or arranging to meet a friend after lectures. Doing the thing you don�t want to do (especially when it comes to socialising) will give you such a sense of achievement in yourself that it will beat any satisfaction from a night in watching Netflix. And it gets easier each time, I promise!

3. It�s okay not to be okay

University isn�t always the best time of your life and I�ve realised this through opening up to friends and educating myself about student wellbeing through sites such as Student Minds. If you�re not enjoying certain aspects of it, try to change them. If you can�t, also know that these things will pass and you just have to ride them out as best as you can. As clich� as it sounds, things do get better, you just have to be ready and waiting for when they do!

Hi everyone! I�m Emma and I study Psychology at King�s College London. I�m currently on a placement year working in the NHS � so (hopefully!) I can combine what I�ve learnt on placement with my experience as a student in my writing. I haven�t got much of a background in blogging/writing but I look forward to sharing my take on mental health and student life. I�m really excited to be able to contribute to the Student Minds blog as mental wellbeing is a topic I love to talk about and should never be overlooked!

Returning to uni after eating disorder treatment

Laura reflects on the highs and lows of returning to university after taking a year out to receive treatment for anorexia.

-Laura

After a whole year at home doing little more than attend therapy appointments, make meal plans, volunteer at my old primary school and do hundreds of crosswords, I was heading back to uni. I�m not going to say that the past year was transformative, or even that it miraculously made me recover, because I am still fighting anorexia day after day. It was a tough year and it tested me, but I realised that sitting around waiting for recovery to come along was pointless, because truthfully it wasn�t going to happen like that. I�m not going to one day decide to get better, especially if I have nothing tangible to get better for. Which is why I decided to go back: for purpose, for direction, for a future.

Nothing was plain sailing, but there were some overwhelmingly positive things to come out of returning to university. And the best? Normality! Finally, for the first time in a long time, my day was not completely structured around when/what I would eat and my mind was not completely consumed by my eating disorder. I was *almost* a normal, 21-year-old student, and it felt great. It was great to be stressed about an upcoming assessment rather than thinking about calories. It was great to talk about something besides anorexia, it was great to laugh and share and have fun. I loved being back in a city. I loved learning again, and I felt excited about learning from people at the forefront of their field. Anorexia had taken so much away from me, and I was finally starting to reclaim my life.

But inevitably, there was the bad stuff. With nobody to be accountable to, nobody to tell me what to eat and when, the ball fell in my court: I was alone, and I struggled, but I had an incredible support system and they were there for me unconditionally. I had bad days with anxiety, I found socialising difficult, but I did it regardless. I pushed through the worry and the fear and the panic and the misery and the negative feelings and I made it through the whole term. I am not ashamed to say, I am proud of myself.

I fully believe that university isn�t easy for anyone. I think it can be a place of loneliness and ostracism and I think it can breed mental illness. The pressure is intense from all angles: you have to be sociable, but also studious, you have to be sporty or talented but academic and conscientious, you have to volunteer and get work experience but also complete every essay by the deadline and get a decent grade. You have to have your career plan sorted, your CV overflowing and your contact list ever-increasing. You are expected to do everything and be everything, but it�s not possible.

Pressure like this is what pushes people to the edge; it�s what pushes people over the edge. It�s important that people aren�t ashamed to ask for help, and it�s important that they know what help is out there should they need it. Because what�s the point of pushing yourself to breaking point for a degree if it has such a detrimental impact upon your health? We need to preach balance, breaks, and better mental health care to stop university becoming such a difficult place to thrive for some.

If you are worried about yourself or a friend please visit here for further support.

Hi, I'm Laura! I�m a final year student at university and after struggling with anorexia for almost two years, I wanted to share some of my experiences with the hope of encouraging students to speak out and helping others feel less alone.