The University Blues

Rosie shares her experience of the January blues, getting ready to leave university and how far she has come. 

- Rosie Steele

The January blues. The anticipation of the future blues. The is this worth it blues. The workload blues. The needing to look after yourself blues.  The University Blues. 

I am struggling. I tend to struggle during January, I suppose there really is a reason they are called the January blues. Mainly I am struggling with the pressure I put on myself to do-it-all and be-it-all. If you look up �perfectionist� in the Oxford English Dictionary you�d probably find a picture of me on the top-floor of the library surrounded by textbooks and an over-priced peppermint tea.

Graduation is fast approaching, the unknown, the big bad world and needing to prove my worth to survive. I�m struggling with this thought. I want to cherish my last few months of university, not be plagued by anxiety on what�s going to happen when I leave. I want to create happy memories to remember.

I wrote this time last year how I received a grade I was not happy with.

Dear Reader, it�s happened again. 

This one is even lower, and it is third year so I sat in my universities social space and cried, and cried, and cried. I was sad, disappointed, angry, ashamed even, in myself, in my abilities. Thoughts began to spiral of ruining my degree and my future dreams of a Masters� degree.

This time last year though I did not have a best friend coming up behind me and just hugging me. She did not need to tell me it was okay because she understood I needed a few hours to just be sad. She did tell me it was okay though, because it is. In the bigger picture of happiness, it is okay because I have a friendship I cherish now. When I wrote this time last year I did not have a friend to hug me.

Every day I am grateful for her, for them. When I graduate I will stand with them and regardless of the classification and remember the fun we�ve had over this last year. I�ll stand and remember the positive change across university in terms of mental health campaigning. I�ll remember the trip to Copenhagen and laughing until the early hours. I�ll remember the nights out I felt invincible and the pure happiness during my student group socials. If I could bottle how I feel after each meeting and sell it, I�d make a mint.

The good doesn�t make the bad disappear or cure my mental health but it does make the university blues bearable.

Then I spoke to my mum who told me that particular assignment didn�t play to your strengths, that�s okay though, what you�re good at, you�re good at.

Let that be a lesson to us all, we can�t do it all but we can take pride in what we are good at.

I�m good at surviving university in six months I�ll walk across a stage in the knowledge that some days I was so blue I didn�t think I could carry on but always did.

 I�m going to take pride in that.

I'm Rosie and I'm in my third year of a media, culture and communication degree in Liverpool. I suffer from anxiety, and separation anxiety which has made university a tough time, leading me to find Student Minds. I am now a Campaigner and Fundraising Champion which allows me to share my mental health story whilst raising money for something I am so passionate about helping to bring awareness to.