When University gets too much for your mental health and ways in which you can look after yourself

Niraj talks about coping with university pressure. 

- Niraj

We all get told on how university is meant to be the best years of your life, and how we have to enjoy every minute of it. And I do agree that university can be a wonderful experience due to the people you meet, the endless amount of opportunities that come your way and the level of independence and freedom you get. But we have to consider both sides of the picture. For a good number of freshers this will be the first time that they have lived away from home and they now have to be responsible for things that are generally done for them at home, such as cooking, laundry and budgeting. Moreover, students from later years face the pressure of having to balance an increased workload, house bills, job applications, commuting to university every day as well as a lot of other things. Suddenly, university doesn�t seem like the perfect fantasy that we were told it would be. With a lot of things to balance at the same time, everything can hit like a truck.

I am personally someone that can relate very closely to having too much to do at the same time. Will I get everything done? Am I doing enough? What else do I need to do? These are questions that enter my mind at a regular basis. Alongside a very intense and challenging degree, I have several other commitments and responsibilities that I have to juggle at the same time, some of which are very time consuming and difficult. Not only does it cause a lot of stress and pressure, it sometimes feels like a pressure bubble has formed in my head which I can�t get out of. 

I see my friends from other degrees that face similar problems. On top of lectures, those studying maths related degrees have multiple assignments and problem sheets a week. Those studying humanities degrees have long essays to grind out at a regular basis, not to forget the hours of reading that goes along with it. Those doing science degrees have full days of intense and gruelling lab sessions as well as lab reports to complete. That�s just a handful of degrees I have mentioned, and people in other degrees experience equal difficulty. Clearly, managing a degree on its own is hard enough. But when you add in things such as commuting and dealing with overcrowded buses, multiple job applications, never ending problems with landlords and even making sure that your housemates clean the dishes, it can seem that everything is impossible to handle. I know people that have dismissed this as something that you are expected to deal with easily at university. But it is not as simple as that. When this pressure you are faced with becomes unrelenting and never ending then it can trigger feelings of anxiety and can have a detrimental impact on your mental health. And sadly, this is becoming more and more common at university, with more students than ever disclosing a mental health condition.

However, despite all the challenges you face at university, there are solutions that you can regularly implement in your routine that can go towards improving wellbeing. There are the obvious and well-known ways that provide effective long term solutions to improve your wellbeing such as seeking counselling and wellbeing services at your university. But it is worth noting that this may not be the best solution for everyone, and that there are other ways in which you can take care of yourself. Activities such as sports and exercising have been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on your wellbeing, and it is something that may help you if you have the capacity to do so. But even small things which don�t require a lot of effort and time such as treating yourself to a meal out, making time to do a hobby that you love or even going for a walk can have a massive impact. Personally, I have always enjoyed socialising and I use that as a way to destress, but everyone has different things that work for them.

Furthermore, if there was one specific piece of advice I would give you, it would be to keep things in perspective. There is a lot that we have to do as students at university, and there are times where it gets too much to handle, but your wellbeing and mental health is very important. In the moment it can feel like the essay deadline or exam that you may have is the only thing that matters right now, and that everything else doesn�t matter. This can make it extremely easy to lose perspective, as your mental health is something that will have a bigger impact in the long run than any essay or exam. It is important to realise when the pressure at university is getting to a point where your mental health is getting affected, as your mental health is something that cannot be neglected.

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third-year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I, therefore, want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and wellbeing, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

For more information on how to cope, check out this link.

Homeless Homesickness

Elise writes about how she manages home sickness at university. 

- Elise Jackson

Before I came to university, I can only remember experiencing homesickness once. It was a week-long residential trip at an activities centre and I was 10 years old. So, getting to university and feeling that feeling again was not only a throwback, but extremely disconcerting.

My parents have always let me be independent. They not only allowed, but encouraged me to socialise, to travel, to have new experiences. I think this is why I never got homesick � I was raised to be self sufficient and to find comfort in meeting people. University, then, should have been a breeze.
Flash-forward to summer 2015. Life goes topsy-turvy. Long story short, we had a death in the family, my mum and step-dad moved out of my childhood home to somewhere half-way across the country, I got in to the University of Nottingham and my friends got in to places all over the country. Within the space of a few months, my life was completely displaced.

As I mentioned, this shouldn�t really have been a problem for me. Aside from the grieving, everything else was well within my emotional capabilities and comfort zone. I love new places and new people! But I hadn�t taken one thing into account: I didn�t have a home anymore. The place I knew as home � the house, the bedroom, the walk into school � didn�t exist anymore. Someone else lived there now, and we knew no one in our new village miles away from a train station.

Homesickness is horrible. But when that option to go home and quell the sickness isn�t there anymore, it becomes something else entirely. Learning to manage that feeling was one of the hardest parts of coming to uni, and one of the achievements I�m most proud of.

So, how do you deal with homesickness when you don�t really have a home anymore? Step one, don�t say you don�t have a home. Instead, think of it like you have several new ones! You have where your parents live, where your friends live, and now, where you live with all these lovely new people. Count your bedrooms � what kid wouldn�t be psyched to learn that one day they would have 3 bedrooms to their name?

Step two, make it comfy. We all know uni halls can be gross and smelly and damp, but in my opinion, there�s nothing some good soft furnishings can�t fix. I got a thick old mattress topper for my uni/camping bed, with a fluffy duvet, blankets and several cushions. I strung up pictures, fairy lights, and put net curtains over my window to make it all feel a bit cosier. My room was (and remained to be in my new houses), the comfiest room of all. Not only will this make you feel more chill, it will make people want to be in your room for cuddles all the damn time, which is a great distraction.

Step three, make new memories. One of the things I did in first year which changed the game completely was have my friends to my new house in Norfolk. As soon as I did that, I went from feeling entirely isolated there to absolutely loving it. After a Christmas, a couple of summers and that wonderful mini-holiday with my friends, that new house has become more of a home for me than my old one had felt like for many years.

And lastly, let go. I once joked with a close friend before that I was over-attached to locations. He told me that I wasn�t attached to the places, I was just attached to the memories and the people I loved that populated them. He�s right � home isn�t a place, it�s people. Visiting friends at different unis showed me this � they�re in an alien city in some strange, draughty house but just being with people you love can make any grotty student haunt feel like home.

Build a home in the friends around you. They�ll be doing the same in you. Once I did that, the homesickness completely dissipated. Now, the idea of coming home means people. It means I wake up with my home; I have breakfast with my home; I go to lectures with my home. It also means that, no matter what, I can pick up the phone and hear home in the voice of any friend, any family member. Home is now something I carry with me, everywhere.

Hello! I'm Elise. I'm currently in my final year studying English Language and Literature at the University of Nottingham. My writings for Student Minds will range from pieces about depression and DPD to coping with loss, bereavement and change during your studies - all the while remaining mindful and getting the most out of university life. Thanks for reading!

Why I decided to shave my head for Mental Health Charities

Amelia shares her journey to making the decision to shave her head for mental health charities.

- Amelia Hartley

I recently created a video, posted on YouTube, sharing my story behind choosing to shave my head on the 3rd December this year to raise money for Student Minds and the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).

Despite writing about my motivations on my fundraising page and in emails to friends and family, writing and filming a video to be posted online for the world to see was an incredibly daunting process. It took a lot of courage: courage I didn�t know I had. It showed me how far I have come and how much strength I have � we all have so much strength.

I�ve experienced some heightened anxiety over the past couple of months. Tackling a big fundraising goal is �2500 isn�t easy. I�ve had fears of not reaching my target, nobody attending the event, being laughed at or judged once the hair goes, friends not supporting me�the list goes on! However, I have had plenty of individuals express their support and encouragement.

Shaving my head for charity has become so much more than just trying to raise money for the causes. It�s also about showing people that it�s okay to talk about mental health and that recovery doesn�t happen overnight. It�s about reducing the stigma, as we all have mental health and we should all respect it like we do with our physical health. It�s about raising awareness of two amazing charities who are supporting thousands of individuals across the UK and will continue to support thousands more. I never thought I would one day be able to talk openly and honestly about my mental health, but here I am.

I was 14, and living in Sydney, when first diagnosed with depression. I felt like the only person of my friends, year group, even school, who wasn't 'happy' all the time. I thought I shouldn't feel like this because nothing had happened to trigger how I felt. I was looking for an excuse, and hoping that excuse would provide a solution to becoming better.

My methods for feeling better weren't healthy; I was self-harming, drinking and isolating myself. I had suicidal feelings. I started taking anti-depressants but I didn�t want anyone to know, or they'd know that something was wrong with me. I�ve realised now how helpful they are to some people, including myself. I still take them, but I�m not embarrassed or ashamed; having depression isn�t shameful.

In September 2010, my best friend died and my world completely fell apart. This was my first experience of 'suicide'. It was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and we will never know whatever led him to that point. A life taken at 18: he had so much more to do, and we had so much love and hugs still to give him. Sometimes things are buried so deeply that nobody can help at the crucial moment. I would do anything to bring him back, but since I can�t, I want to try to help fewer men take their own lives. This is why I have chosen the Campaign Against Living Miserably, the male suicide prevention charity, as one of the charities to raise money for. In 2016, 76% of all suicides in the UK were male, and this has been the case since the early 1990s. It is the biggest killer of men under 45. However, CALM prevents over 250 suicides every year. They offer a helpline, website resources, and support, tackle stigma through massive national campaigns and increase the awareness of male suicide rates. Just a �7 donation can pay for a potentially life-saving call, so giving a little can do a lot.

I have personally seen that suicide is preventable � another close friend of mine, who had a suicide attempt, has come far and is alive and well today. I am so thankful he had the right help and support, and am pleased I could support him too.

In 2011, I moved back to England and took the opportunity to improve my academic work and my mental health. Despite lots of ups and downs, I did well in my A levels and went to study Physics at university, excited by the opportunity to continue learning.

Three months before moving to Southampton, from nowhere, I felt a massive dip in my mental health and began drinking and caring very little about myself. Starting university, I didn�t feel in control and was very vulnerable, and then my uncle suddenly passed away over the Christmas holiday. Jon was like a father to me, who I had hoped would be at my graduation and walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I felt like a part of myself had been brutally and abruptly ripped from me. 

I spiralled. I couldn�t concentrate in lectures or sit exams without crying. I didn�t feel I could talk to people; it seemed no one would understand the grief or pain I was experiencing. I couldn�t pretend to be ok and couldn�t be rude, so I isolated myself. Feeling outside of myself, I was watching �me� go through each day without any control. There were times when I couldn�t picture the next 24 hours. I was scared of myself. 

I had to start recovery. University was still the route I thought I was going to be taking, so I stopped drinking and started taking care of myself. I went into second year with a positive frame of mind but my mental health still wasn�t great, even though it had improved.

I found that university was making things worse. Opportunities I�d found in university were the things that were keeping me going such as running a Student Minds peer support group for students experiencing low moods. The programme I was facilitating, and subsequent support network, kept me going through second year and allowed me to leave university knowing I�d made the right decision to drop out. Student Minds saved me � I don�t know where I�d be without them. The mental health of university students would be at a crisis point without the peer support, staff training, campaigns and sector influence that Student Minds offers. This is why I have chosen them as my second charity. Their work is hugely recognised, and it is an honour to now work for the charity.

You can�t always see depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. You don�t always know how much someone is struggling. It doesn�t always show outwardly; they might not talk about it because they�re worried about others� reactions. If I tell someone that I have clinical depression and anxiety or have experienced suicidal thoughts, they might change how they behave around me or panic. It�s not necessarily an illness with an easy diagnosis and treatment, where people wish you to get well soon and celebrate your recovery. Mental health difficulties and suicide affect millions of individuals across the UK. For that, I will do my bit by shaving my head and raising as much money as I possibly can for the Campaign Against Living Miserably and Student Minds.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, please donate if you can, please share this as much as possible. We can all share our stories and they can have more impact than we ever imagine.

Fundraising page: https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/ameliagoesbald

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/h7JCdp0QkpI

Hi, I'm Amelia and I am the Training Programmes Manager at Student Minds. I previously volunteered for the charity, and love now being part of the staff team. I've had lots of ups and downs over the years, but have found Oxford a beautiful place to live and work, and the countryside certainly helps my mood! We all have mental health, let's keep fighting the stigma.

Always Be Your Biggest Inspiration

Tazmin gives advice on how to define, and follow through with, your goals at uni.

- Tazmin Pye

A couple of mornings ago, I woke up for work and got ready. Whilst sat in the car, about to be on my way, I noticed a Facebook notification pop up saying �you have memories�, so I had a look and realised that three years ago I started university.

Now, having finished, I have really been missing university and the lifestyle it offers, especially after entering the adult world. I wasn�t quite ready to leave, but I don�t think many of us were.
It caused me to feel incredibly nostalgic about who I was at the time, what I�ve been through, and the ups and downs I experienced at university.

I found it so interesting that someone who misses university greatly, who speaks so highly of their experience there, was absolutely determined to leave while there. My depression and anxiety really took their toll on me, to the point where the only thing I thought was going to help would be dropping out. How glad I am that I didn�t.

Why did I want to leave?

I felt depressed. I felt low. I felt vulnerable and lonely. I struggled with social situations. I thought it wasn�t for me.

Why didn�t I leave? What stopped me from going?

Myself.

I found a letter that I wrote to myself when I was starting therapy back home in Birmingham. I remembered how much worse off I was emotionally. I remembered how I decided to use my anxiety and depression to motivate me, rather than cause me to hide away. In that letter, I told myself that I would get through the pain I was in at the time, I would get into a university of my choosing to study film production, and that I would be great at it.

I sat back and realised �Wait, I�m here right now. I�ve achieved everything I wanted to at the time of writing that letter. Now let�s create new achievements. New goals. New aspirations. Write myself a new letter, a new promise to myself�.

They were:

• Try and enjoy the course I worked so hard to get onto. Enjoy it first, worry about it second.
• Don�t fear people, but understand that your lifelong friends are out there somewhere and you need to go find them.
• Have love for yourself. Go and find yourself and enjoy how different every day can be. Enjoy your growth, change and evolution as a person. 
• Do not fear happiness, for it is your birthright.

And so I didn�t drop out. I took the wisdom I wrote to myself when I was in a lot more pain, and I powered through. I got a First in my degree. I met some incredible people who have impacted my life wonderfully. I did it!

It is so important to not listen to the bad things your mental illness may tell you, and to listen to your heart. Nothing should ever stop you from being what you want to be. In my case, all I wanted to be at university was happy.

Perhaps if you have just started university, sit down and write a letter to yourself. Set a date to open it, or put it away and wait for it to come back and find you. You can be your biggest inspiration. See how much you grow.

Remember � happiness is our birthright.

Hey guys, it�s Tazmin. My journey suffering with severe depression and anxiety has been a difficult one; but I would not be who I am today had I not accepted my illness and worked to get better. I have just graduated from Sheffield Hallam University with a First in Film and Media Production, something which I thought I'd never do.  I�ve had my blog Awareness for two years and it has been so rewarding for me; I want my writing to help, inspire and touch people. I now wish to support and encourage anyone who is suffering through university with this blog. Happy reading! 

awarenessbytazmin.wordpress.com