Find a Purpose to Drive Your Self Development

Ethan shares how self-development can improve our self-worth and mental wellbeing. 

Self-development is something we all strive for. The hope that, one day, we will be in some ways better than our current selves can be instrumental in helping us to endure the hard times and come out better on the other side. However, unless our efforts for self-development are rooted in goals that are close to our hearts, our attempts can often prove to be futile and demotivating.

One example of this is regular exercise. Despite the well known and limitless benfits it has for both our physical and mental wellbeing, many of us can find it very difficult to maintain regular exercise and settle for an on-again, off-again relationship with the hobby. Just the promise that something will make us better isn�t always enough to drive us.

During a time in my life where I was beginning to question everything that I formerly understood myself to be, I tried lots of different hobbies in a desperate need for something, or someone, significant to cease any further decline in my self-worth. But I often failed to find enjoyment in these activities and became further demoralised by the day.

It was around this time that I met my girlfriend of a year and a half. I was very hesitant to let anyone into my life at this time, when any love for myself did not appear to be on the horizon. Furthermore, having come out of a relationship somewhat recently at the time, I was busy trying to focus on loving myself before allowing myself to love anyone else.

When I did begin to let my guard down, I started to see a person who I thought deserved the best; from life and from a partner. As much as I wanted to be the kind of partner that I knew they deserved, it took me a long time to realise that I could. Now each day I work a little bit harder to be better for this person. Having someone to love is a powerful driving force in motivating us towards self-development; it�s the one thing I think of when I am expressing gratitude for the potential I�ve harnessed and the self-love I�ve developed since.

Finding something, or someone, that you love is imperative in discovering our purpose. These hobbies or people, friends or otherwise, may already be in your life, but you may have overlooked them. Alternatively, there could be something just around the corner and, with a little bit more patience and hope, it will arrive. To accelerate this process, encourage yourself to try new things, in search of finding an activity that you will find fulfilling and worth putting your time into. If you are instead someone who finds value in spending time with others, perhaps begin this search amongst societies and clubs within your University, either to try something new or explore an old love of yours; if the activity doesn�t interest you, the people you meet might. Finding a purpose that motivates you each day and that drives you to better yourself, produces the best results when it comes to learning to developing self love, the values that are important to you, and the life that you are living.

Hey, I'm Ethan! Having not found the past few years a breeze, as few people do, and struggling along the journey to know myself and where I'd like for my life to take me, I thought I'd share my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from for others going through similar struggles, in hope that you also get a better idea of how you want to experience life.
I'm currently studying Philosophy and Politics at UEA

Click here for more tips on self care 

When University gets too much for your mental health and ways in which you can look after yourself

Niraj talks about coping with university pressure. 

- Niraj

We all get told on how university is meant to be the best years of your life, and how we have to enjoy every minute of it. And I do agree that university can be a wonderful experience due to the people you meet, the endless amount of opportunities that come your way and the level of independence and freedom you get. But we have to consider both sides of the picture. For a good number of freshers this will be the first time that they have lived away from home and they now have to be responsible for things that are generally done for them at home, such as cooking, laundry and budgeting. Moreover, students from later years face the pressure of having to balance an increased workload, house bills, job applications, commuting to university every day as well as a lot of other things. Suddenly, university doesn�t seem like the perfect fantasy that we were told it would be. With a lot of things to balance at the same time, everything can hit like a truck.

I am personally someone that can relate very closely to having too much to do at the same time. Will I get everything done? Am I doing enough? What else do I need to do? These are questions that enter my mind at a regular basis. Alongside a very intense and challenging degree, I have several other commitments and responsibilities that I have to juggle at the same time, some of which are very time consuming and difficult. Not only does it cause a lot of stress and pressure, it sometimes feels like a pressure bubble has formed in my head which I can�t get out of. 

I see my friends from other degrees that face similar problems. On top of lectures, those studying maths related degrees have multiple assignments and problem sheets a week. Those studying humanities degrees have long essays to grind out at a regular basis, not to forget the hours of reading that goes along with it. Those doing science degrees have full days of intense and gruelling lab sessions as well as lab reports to complete. That�s just a handful of degrees I have mentioned, and people in other degrees experience equal difficulty. Clearly, managing a degree on its own is hard enough. But when you add in things such as commuting and dealing with overcrowded buses, multiple job applications, never ending problems with landlords and even making sure that your housemates clean the dishes, it can seem that everything is impossible to handle. I know people that have dismissed this as something that you are expected to deal with easily at university. But it is not as simple as that. When this pressure you are faced with becomes unrelenting and never ending then it can trigger feelings of anxiety and can have a detrimental impact on your mental health. And sadly, this is becoming more and more common at university, with more students than ever disclosing a mental health condition.

However, despite all the challenges you face at university, there are solutions that you can regularly implement in your routine that can go towards improving wellbeing. There are the obvious and well-known ways that provide effective long term solutions to improve your wellbeing such as seeking counselling and wellbeing services at your university. But it is worth noting that this may not be the best solution for everyone, and that there are other ways in which you can take care of yourself. Activities such as sports and exercising have been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on your wellbeing, and it is something that may help you if you have the capacity to do so. But even small things which don�t require a lot of effort and time such as treating yourself to a meal out, making time to do a hobby that you love or even going for a walk can have a massive impact. Personally, I have always enjoyed socialising and I use that as a way to destress, but everyone has different things that work for them.

Furthermore, if there was one specific piece of advice I would give you, it would be to keep things in perspective. There is a lot that we have to do as students at university, and there are times where it gets too much to handle, but your wellbeing and mental health is very important. In the moment it can feel like the essay deadline or exam that you may have is the only thing that matters right now, and that everything else doesn�t matter. This can make it extremely easy to lose perspective, as your mental health is something that will have a bigger impact in the long run than any essay or exam. It is important to realise when the pressure at university is getting to a point where your mental health is getting affected, as your mental health is something that cannot be neglected.

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third-year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I, therefore, want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and wellbeing, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

For more information on how to cope, check out this link.

Taking time for yourself - even when you don�t feel like it

Charlotte shares her thoughts on why studying less may improve your grades - and your mental health.

Have you ever had that feeling that you have no time to do the things you enjoy because of the looming pressure of studying? Maybe you�d love to watch a movie, hang out with friends, or just lie in a hot bath, but you can�t make space for it in your schedule. When you are struggling with your mental health, this feeling of taking time for yourself can feel even less deserved. For some, makes us feel guilty for doing anything other than university work, and can seriously impact our wellbeing and our productivity.

When I started Brunel University as a fresh-faced 18 year old, I told myself that I didn�t have time for any clubs or societies. I was going to focus on my education and get a kick-ass degree! Things didn�t exactly work out that way; because I had no hobbies, and nothing else to dedicate my time to, I spent way too long studying in the library, or late into the night. One of the biggest regrets of my university experience is that I didn�t take the time to make friends through clubs and societies. I didn�t find that social outlet that I needed to help with the isolation and loneliness that living away from home can bring.

This guilt over �me-time� got worse when I studied for a Master�s degree at Bristol UWE. Being a distance-learning course, I had even more of an opportunity to isolate myself due to the lack of a campus community, and the content of the course being completely online. I started to worry if I began working later than 9am. I wouldn�t give myself a lunch break longer than half an hour, and I completely neglected the need to exercise or just chill out.

Of course, this didn�t make me any better at studying. In fact, I spent most of my time worrying about studying and generally being inefficient, because studying was all I thought about. This resulted in me developing an anxiety disorder and unhealthy work habits that have stayed with me to this day, over a year after finishing my studies. According to the American Psychological Association, �excessive or inappropriate guilt� is a key symptom of clinical depression, so it�s not surprising that a lot of students with mental health issues feel guilty for taking time off from studying.

One of my fellow course mates had a part-time job, a netball coaching job, and various other hobbies and activities that she indulged in, always managing to spend time on her studies as well. That girl eventually really DID get a kick-ass degree!

As counter intuitive as it seems, taking time away from studying and spending a healthy amount of time on self-care is THE BIGGEST tool for success and wellbeing that there is! Everyone needs to recharge their batteries regularly. So, have a think about what you like to do to relax and unwind. Is it reading a book? Going for a run? Something that has really helped me is having a list of things that I know I enjoy readily available to me to look at when I feel I need a break. Another helpful tip is to make yourself clear, realistic, small goals every day. Something like: �today I will read 2 journal articles�. And then when you complete those tasks, don�t be tempted to give yourself more. You�ve done what you set out to do!

Too much studying can have a really big impact on our health and wellbeing, and can give us a distorted view of how much our grades mean in the grand scheme of things. Be kind to yourself and prioritise that me-time as much as you need.

Hi I�m Charlotte! I work at the London School of Economics looking at refining and improving the student experience in my department. I graduated with a BSc in Psychology in 2012, and an MSc in Sport and Exercise Psychology in 2017; these university experiences alerted me to the debilitating effect anxiety and depression can have on young people, as it was something I struggled with. Coming across the Student Minds blog made me wish I�d found a resource like this when I was studying, so I want to give back to the community by sharing my experience.

Social Anxiety and How to Make Friends at University

Astrid talks about her journey to finding great friends at university.

- Astrid

Often students move halfway across the country to attend university, without knowing anyone else and having to fend for themselves for the first time. My biggest fear about joining uni was not making friends and I shared this fear with most other students. 

Being a fresher should be exciting and I didn�t want my worries to prevent me having any fun. Here are some ways I made making friends easier: I decided to volunteer abroad before I began university. I thought it would boost my confidence and make me more comfortable living and spending a lot of time with a new group of people. I was right! 

It introduced me to stepping outside my comfort zone for a shorter period of time. It also prepared me to meet a large group of new people and engage with them. Most of the people I met were also volunteering by themselves. Nobody knew anybody beforehand, and everyone was in the same boat!

The stories my fellow volunteers told me were surprising. Many others were volunteering for similar reasons to myself, to boost their confidence or even help manage their mental health. The coordinators even said that about a quarter of volunteers are on a form of medication or treatment for mental health conditions. Volunteering abroad is primarily done collectively, volunteers sharing their interest in helping others and the work they are doing, forming natural friendships with plenty to chat about in the evenings.

Since my first time volunteering, I have joined many different projects with different organisations, both affordable and expensive. The range of people from different backgrounds was far wider on more affordable programmes. 

I can�t be 100% sure if my teaching and building work was helping my anxiety as there were so many other things happening as well: meeting new people, living and working together, going out in the evenings and weekend tours. But I would definitely recommend volunteering as it totally worked for me and covers so many bases. I�m not sure if volunteering on my own on a computer in my room would�ve had the same effect!

Once I�d started university, I felt more confident talking to new people and wasn�t scared to live with a group of strangers. I am confident this wouldn�t have been possible without spending time volunteering abroad. However, I still didn�t feel comfortable knocking on people�s doors and introducing myself. I came up with another way to make friends. 

I thought if I joined clubs then I could meet people and we would share an interest, as it had worked with volunteering. I made a mistake in joining the football team to begin with. I knew the basic rule, kick the ball into the goal, and thought that it would be great exercise. But I hadn�t considered that the majority of people who had joined the football team had played football at school, some even knew each other from their schools playing each other in the past. My lack of skill made me stand out for all of the wrong reasons. 

After failing miserably at playing football, I chose to join the water polo team. No one on the team had ever played before and we were all novices. We instantly had something in common, our lack of water polo skills.

I also joined the ice-skating team. The first couple of lessons were spent with everyone continuously falling over. After the first time it became a joke and we bonded over sore bottoms and bruised legs. Volunteering abroad and joining clubs at university helped making friends effortless. I would recommend anyone who is nervous about making friends at university to volunteer abroad beforehand, even if it is only a couple of weeks before freshers.

When at uni, join as many groups as possible, the weirder and less common the club the more likely there will be fellow newbies who you can bond with over inexperience. 

Some Useful Links:Transition to UniKnow before you Go

Astrid Halliday loves travelling and especially getting away overseas to help build and develop a community. Volunteering many times with Original Volunteers and also with Habitat For Humanity, she loves sharing her passion and encouraging other to travel in a similar way.

Treat Yourself

Rachel discusses self-esteem and success. 

So many people over the years have told me that the key to success is 'working really hard'. Dedication together with food, water, and sleep are a crucial mix to achieve any goal.

And that is where the advice often ends.

But clocking as many hours as possible is not a recipe for success. It's a recipe for short-term gain and long-term destruction (Fleming, 2018). Not only do 72-hour weeks contribute towards reducing a person's dedication, but they also impact negatively on the other important elements of success. If you are working 12-hour days, chances are you are also skipping meals, on a caffeine drip, and not catching enough sleep. Human beings are not made to operate like machines.

Having volunteered for years with GirlGuiding UK, I have watched time and time again as schools put an intense amount of pressure on students to 'work harder', 'do more', and 'get better'. But all these students are hearing is 'I am not good enough'. Is it any wonder 82% students suffer from stress and anxiety (Veiber, 2017)?

Now is the time to refocus. If we chose to look at our successes rather than our failures and acknowledge our efforts over our shortfalls, we can form a positive view on the work that we are committing and recommitting to every single day (Herald, 2014).

�Here�s your protection for whatever comes: Find something to be happy about every day, and every hour if possible, moment-to-moment, even if only for a few minutes.� - Gregg Braden

Mr Braden has it right! The only thing he doesn't warn us though, is that positivity isn't easy to achieve. It doesn't appear over night. Sometimes we need a little boost to help us get through! Science shows that individuals providing themselves small incentives improve their self control and energy, feeling contended, comforted, and cared for. The contrary is also true; when an individual fails to incentivise themselves, they can burn out, becoming depleted and resentful (Rubin, 2014).

This is where I come to my title: Treat Yourself! On the days you are struggling, banging your head against the wall is not going to help. But going out for a brisk walk, having a real cup of coffee (not the instant stuff!), or doing whatever it is you enjoy doing in your 'me time' - might! Providing oneself with treats is proven to help maintain healthy and good habits (Rubin, 2014).

I am currently in the midst of revision. Now it is crunch time - exams are around the corner. I cannot devour enough information quickly enough! That said, spending eight hours a day hunched over books can become monotonous and ultimately demoralising - I have yet to meet someone who loves revision.

So I break up my day with little treats to keep me going; I practice some mindfulness techniques, volunteer, get a manicure, have a cup of hot chocolate (I'm not a fan of coffee!), work on an art project, or even write a blog post! There are millions of different things you can do to help you over a 'hump'! There is no one-size-fits-all. Keep trying until you find whatever it is that works for you!

I hope whatever it is you choose to be and whatever it is you choose to do to break up your day; you find something that puts a smile on your face!

I have found self-rewarding to be one of the most effective strategies for handling stress. You may have other tips or methods, so please feel free to share them in the comments section!

Rachel Gordon is a student at Brunel University London, reading Business and Management Bsc. A creative writer, Rachel is also an active blogger at her site www.millennial-me.co.ukand in a recent collaborative project, she released a motivational calendar for the year 2019 to raise funds for charity. Rachel volunteers for The Scouts Association and GirlGuiding UK; charities that offer a wide range of opportunities to children and has achieved awards for her dedication. Fluent in both English and Hebrew, she privately tutors Modern Hebrew at both Primary and Secondary Education Level.

For more articles, tips, or information, get in touch: @millennial_me_

Here are some supportive links if you're struggling with managing university stress: 

Starting University (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/startinguniversity.html)

Mind Matters (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/mindmatters.html) 

Fears, Futures, and Third Year

In this blog, Phoebe discusses final year stresses and the fear of life after university, giving some advice on how to manage these worries. 

I'm in my final year now. I'm very stressed and fearful that I may or may not have taken too much on. Certain things haven't gone to plan and the future is rather uncertain at the minute. 

Being a student isn't all fun and drinking games, but recently I've been feeling immensely overwhelmed by life. It's finally time to start getting approval for my dissertation, my third-year placement is beginning soon, and I kind of don't know where to begin with planning my life after university. 

I'm more than aware I'm not the only person in this situation. Many other people will be about to embark on the same pathway as me, so in the midst of my uncertainty here are a few thoughts I came up with: 

It's OK to feel like this: it's totally OK to not have everything figured out. I know myself enough to know that I can get through this, and similarly you will find your way. And if you need support, then seek it: everybody needs a helping hand at some point in their life. 

Reach out: Once, during my first year, I hit a real low with my mental health. It was one of the worst relapses I've ever had and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ask my friends for help because I was so scared that they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore. But they stayed with me until the early hours of the next day and it actually brought us closer together. So don�t be afraid.

Believe in yourself: I think the main thing I'm going to rely on this year is myself. I know that I work hard and I know that I can do this: this current stress will pass. I'm going to give this year my best shot and if I don�t get the grade I want, then actually, that's fine. My best is all I can give and my best also involves taking care of myself. 

Take care of yourself: Recently I realised that there a lot of potential limitations to my research project and I'm absolutely petrified that it won't work. Whilst I've been an anxious mess, getting disproportionately stressed, I completely missed the connection that would tie my topics together. Taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself might actually end up being the one thing that helps you carry on. 

There may be overwhelming moments lurking in the future; stress may be about to surmount to quite high levels; but I guarantee you one thing: you are more than capable. Everything you need is within you and there is so much support available around you, for you to use when you need, and to help you reach where you want to go. 

My name is Phoebe, I�m 20 and a 3rd year Psychology student at Nottingham Trent University. I spend a lot of time campaigning for mental health awareness and I�m an ambassador for a number of mental health organisations including Beat and Time to Change.  I also have my own personal blog which I�ll leave the link to here: https://phoebebarr6.wixsite.com/website. Feel more than free to get in touch!

  

Dear Fresher Me

Michael writes about some tips and tricks he wish he knew as a fresher. 

Starting university can be a really fun, exciting, and self-defining experience. But it can also be challenging, particularly whilst you settle in and find your feet. I started university after spending two years in full time work and I found it really intimidating and overwhelming. I felt like I didn�t belong and this made me anxious around others and pretty hard on myself. 5 years later I am still at uni and much happier. Here, I give my 5 #DearFresherMe tips for managing when you start university.

1.      Find Your University Support

You might not need it but it�s always helpful to have an idea early on of where to go for support if you feel like are struggling. Find out what student welfare services and general pastoral care your university provides, what they do, and how to access them. It helped me to speak to a member of the welfare team on the first day - after that, they looked out for me during the first few weeks whilst I was struggling.

2.      Ask for Help if You Need It. 

Speak up if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. I found that people were really supportive and accommodating if they knew you were struggling but, with so many other students, they might not realise something is wrong unless you tell them. Equally don�t be afraid to ask about uni life more generally. I thought that if I asked questions about the academic or social elements of university life, people would think I was stupid. But it becomes harder to ask the longer time goes on. The opening few weeks are a really good time to explore how everything works and ask questions.

3.      Get into a Healthy Routine.

You might find when you get to University that you have less compulsory contact hours than you expected. For some, this can make it hard to know when the work starts, whilst, for others, it can be hard to know when it stops. Either way, it will be helpful to get into a healthy routine early on to help balance your time and look after yourself. I found that it helped to treat my uni work as a job with set times and spaces; I chose to only work at the library so that I could keep my room as a time and space for me. 

4.      Get Organised

Because I felt anxious and overwhelmed, it really helped to get organised. Use a diary, record academic deadlines and other commitments, file your work, and regularly check and sort your university emails to make sure that you are on track and don�t miss anything. This will likely save you some stress and last minute panics!

5.      Relationships Matter.

Having a good support network of friends will help you get the most out of your university experience. Although building new friendships takes time and effort, it really is worth it. If you find it hard meeting new people, you won�t be alone � there will be other people that will feel the same and really appreciate a smile and a chat. Or you could try to find ways of meeting people with similar interests by joining societies or volunteering.

Everybody�s university journey is unique, and we all go to university with different hopes, fears and expectations. Try to take things at your own pace based on the advice that feels right for you. 

About Michael:

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.

Some useful links:

Finding Support: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/findsupport.html

Transition to university: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/transitions.html

Looking after your wellbeing:  

https://www.studentminds.org.uk/lookingafteryourmentalwellbeing.html

How To Make The Most Of Fresher's Week (And Beyond)

Rhianna looks back on her First Year experience and shares her 3 top tips for making the most of it.

- Rhianna Levi

University is such an exciting and life-changing experiencing. You�re not simply studying a degree; you�re also gaining new skills, opening yourself to new opportunities and meeting new people. It�s inevitable you�re going to develop immensely as an individual.

This time last year, I was starting that experience myself. So, I thought it would be beneficial to share my top tips in regard to starting University and making the most of that transition!

1. Take advantage of meeting new people. 

Whether it be on your course, in your halls or through university events, you�ll find many opportunities to meet new people as socialising is a big part of university life. Even though it can be terrifying at first, remember that you�re not alone in feeling nervous. You�re all in the same boat, hoping to make friends quickly.

Connecting with others from different backgrounds makes first year and beyond really enjoyable and eye-opening. What you will find is that the friends you make at University have a tendency to become friends for life!

2. Find and utilise the support available. 

In Fresher�s week, become aware of the support your university offers and try and remember this for the entirety of your University career. Your supervisors, your lecturers, the University mental health services and The Student Union are all there to help you settle and succeed, both socially, emotionally and academically. They do not bite; they are really lovely and approachable and will go out of their way to support you in your endeavours and wellbeing! 

3. Keep organised

Obviously, the first few weeks are very chaotic. They�re full of adrenaline and the apprehensive attempts of �Adulting�! However, when things start to settle, remember your passion for your course and your academic aspirations and responsibilities.

It�s important to keep up to date with the reading and tasks that your course gives. This will prevent you feeling overwhelmed and becoming too stressed. Use good time management and essay planning in your assignments, exams and projects. Also, act upon the feedback you are given. Remember, your tutors are NOT belittling you, but are helping you get the best degree classification that you can at the end of your degree! Finally, try and aim for regular contact with your personal academic tutor throughout the three years. They�ll help you to check your progress and are often a first point of call for if you begin to struggle.

Overall, uni will be a unique and exciting experience. Hopefully, these tips will make your transition a smooth one and will set you up for a great first year!

I am a 19-year-old BA Hons English Literature student from The University of Worcester with a love for literature, cats, coffee, and travelling. I am an active mental health advocate and blogger, and not only write for Student Minds, but also run my own blog, and I am largely involved in various campaigns and social media platforms. Hope you all like my writing!

How To Make The Best Of Time Out

Eloise shares her tips on how to make the best of time out from university due to your mental health. 

- Eloise Stark

Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Taking time out from university is a growing occurrence, and is often due to mental health difficulties. At Oxford, the process of taking time out has the intimidating verb �rusticating�, derived from the Latin word rus, which means countryside. This is because students were often sent back to their family in the country. 

Taking time out may be compulsory or voluntary, but despite the reasons for why you need to put a pause on university, there are ways to make sure that your time is well spent.

Recovery

If you have taken time out due to mental health problems, the first priority will be to work towards recovery. This may take different forms depending on your mental health condition and level of functioning, but could include time spent in hospital, outpatient treatment, trips to your GP, trials of medication, or various types of therapy. Trust in the people who are here to help you and be honest and open at appointments. If you don�t feel you are getting the right support, try finding an advocate or writing a letter to explain what you think you need. Don�t give up. The NHS is horribly stretched but that doesn�t mean you have to settle for sub-optimum care. 

My experience has been that you will get a degree of help from others, but you also need to learn to help yourself. There is no magic bullet and no one is going to swoop in and save you. But equally, you know yourself best. You are the person who can best learn about your triggers, your unhelpful cognitions, what makes you tick and what your ultimate goals are. 

It is important to be realistic about your recovery � it might not happen overnight and you might not be �recovered� when you return to university in a year or two. Indeed, some conditions may be lifelong. What you should aim for is improvement and understanding of how to make life easier. Aim for progress, not perfection, and remember that you can improve your situation, however dire it may feel. 

Making your time meaningful 

I found during my time out that at first I felt very low because I didn�t feel as if I had any purpose while I wasn�t a student any more. I had nothing to do with my time, and so I felt useless and lazy. I would have liked to find a part-time job but I was not well enough. So I mobilised myself to find things to do that make me feel purposeful and like my life was meaningful. 

I found several volunteering opportunities for a couple of hours at a time. For instance, I did some admin for the charity Oxford Hub every Wednesday afternoon and I volunteered at my local village library. I also tried some things that didn�t work out, and that�s okay too. I signed up to volunteer in an Oxfam bookshop, and was left alone on the till after a 30-minute induction. I was so terrified and anxious of getting the till wrong, that I gave my thanks but never returned.

Can you join a local sports team? Do you enjoy going to the gym? Is there a reading group you could join? How about a couple of hours helping in a retirement home, or a charity shop? Is there a local Scouts group you could volunteer with? There are tonnes of opportunities if you look hard enough! 

Goals

Keeping an eye on the future is an important thing to do. Make goals, even if they are as silly as seeing the S Club 7 reunion band live in concert. What do you want to do as a career? Would you like a family? Would you like to continue to do a PhD? On a shorter timescale, goals could be things like making it to see a friend once a week (social contact is very important during your time out too), or reading a novel every month. Be kind to yourself, don�t set anything too difficult for yourself, but keep the future in mind. 

Never give up

I know what it is like when it feels as if you�ll never get back to university. When you see your friend�s photos on Facebook or Instagram and they look like they�re having a great time, and you feel sad that it�s not you. But time out can be a wonderful, healing time if you make the most from it. 

You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That�s how I�ve done it. There�s no other way.

- Elizabeth Taylor

Hi, my name is Eloise and I am a second year PhD student at Oxford University, studying at the intersection between Neuroscience and Psychiatry. I am passionate about mental health, reducing stigma and increasing empathy for people experiencing distress.