Find a Purpose to Drive Your Self Development

Ethan shares how self-development can improve our self-worth and mental wellbeing. 

Self-development is something we all strive for. The hope that, one day, we will be in some ways better than our current selves can be instrumental in helping us to endure the hard times and come out better on the other side. However, unless our efforts for self-development are rooted in goals that are close to our hearts, our attempts can often prove to be futile and demotivating.

One example of this is regular exercise. Despite the well known and limitless benfits it has for both our physical and mental wellbeing, many of us can find it very difficult to maintain regular exercise and settle for an on-again, off-again relationship with the hobby. Just the promise that something will make us better isn�t always enough to drive us.

During a time in my life where I was beginning to question everything that I formerly understood myself to be, I tried lots of different hobbies in a desperate need for something, or someone, significant to cease any further decline in my self-worth. But I often failed to find enjoyment in these activities and became further demoralised by the day.

It was around this time that I met my girlfriend of a year and a half. I was very hesitant to let anyone into my life at this time, when any love for myself did not appear to be on the horizon. Furthermore, having come out of a relationship somewhat recently at the time, I was busy trying to focus on loving myself before allowing myself to love anyone else.

When I did begin to let my guard down, I started to see a person who I thought deserved the best; from life and from a partner. As much as I wanted to be the kind of partner that I knew they deserved, it took me a long time to realise that I could. Now each day I work a little bit harder to be better for this person. Having someone to love is a powerful driving force in motivating us towards self-development; it�s the one thing I think of when I am expressing gratitude for the potential I�ve harnessed and the self-love I�ve developed since.

Finding something, or someone, that you love is imperative in discovering our purpose. These hobbies or people, friends or otherwise, may already be in your life, but you may have overlooked them. Alternatively, there could be something just around the corner and, with a little bit more patience and hope, it will arrive. To accelerate this process, encourage yourself to try new things, in search of finding an activity that you will find fulfilling and worth putting your time into. If you are instead someone who finds value in spending time with others, perhaps begin this search amongst societies and clubs within your University, either to try something new or explore an old love of yours; if the activity doesn�t interest you, the people you meet might. Finding a purpose that motivates you each day and that drives you to better yourself, produces the best results when it comes to learning to developing self love, the values that are important to you, and the life that you are living.

Hey, I'm Ethan! Having not found the past few years a breeze, as few people do, and struggling along the journey to know myself and where I'd like for my life to take me, I thought I'd share my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from for others going through similar struggles, in hope that you also get a better idea of how you want to experience life.
I'm currently studying Philosophy and Politics at UEA

Click here for more tips on self care 

What to remember if you have had a tough day at university

Niraj gives four tips for managing difficult times at university. 

Niraj

Sometimes things can get overwhelming and feel impossible to deal with whilst at university. I have certainly felt pushed to the limit many times, have often felt under pressure and faced a lot of difficult days and times whilst at university. However, despite this I have managed to develop my mental strength and resilience. In this article, I share four things I have learnt which have helped me significantly.

1) Difficult days can help you develop as a person

University is challenging. Every student has to manage constant deadlines, career planning, finances, as well as other responsibilities and commitments. As a result, you probably will be pushed out of your comfort zone, which will lead to some days being extremely demanding and difficult. However, by reflecting on these difficult days and finding strategies to overcome them, you will be able to learn a lot, and develop as a person. In my specific case, even though I have faced several challenges and difficult times regarding my mental health, this has also helped me build my ability to be resilient and adapt to tough situations.

2) There is always something good in every day

Sometimes when things are difficult, it is very easy to think that the world is against you and it is impossible to see the bright side. However, one thing that has helped me to deal with my current challenges recently is positive thinking, and trying to see what went well in the day rather than focus purely on the negatives. For example, this could be making small progress towards a long-term goal, something simple such as making someone smile, or even learning from a mistake that you have made. Not every day will be amazing, but thinking about all the good things that have happened in the day as well as what you have learnt will help you stay determined and motivated.

3) Taking things one day at a time can be so beneficial 

Remembering to take things one day at a time can make such a difference, especially at times when you feel overwhelmed. Previously, one of the biggest mistakes that I made was expecting my mental health to magically improve overnight and beating myself up when it didn�t. Nothing extremely fulfilling in life happens overnight, and sometimes it�s how you deal with the journey that can make a big difference. A simple yet effective way to deal with bad days in a positive light is to think about ways you can make the next day better and remembering that even making small progress and improvements every day will accumulate in the long run.

4) The rewards are sweeter if you have overcome challenges  

You have all achieved so much already that you should be proud of, such as getting into university, learning new skills, becoming more independent as well as so much more. None of these achievements were a walk in the park, and you have had to overcome many barriers to get to where you are today. We all have goals and aims that we want to achieve, and it is expected that we will face setbacks and tough periods. It is sometimes easy to lose perspective and beat ourselves up, thinking that we are doing something wrong whenever we are finding things hard. Life isn�t plain sailing, and being able to stay motivated despite the constant challenges, and thriving as a result is what will make the successes and rewards even more worthwhile. Furthermore, you can grow from the struggles and challenges that you have faced, which will serve you well in the future.

For more advice on looking after your mental wellbeing at university, click here. 

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third-year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I, therefore, want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and wellbeing, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

When University gets too much for your mental health and ways in which you can look after yourself

Niraj talks about coping with university pressure. 

- Niraj

We all get told on how university is meant to be the best years of your life, and how we have to enjoy every minute of it. And I do agree that university can be a wonderful experience due to the people you meet, the endless amount of opportunities that come your way and the level of independence and freedom you get. But we have to consider both sides of the picture. For a good number of freshers this will be the first time that they have lived away from home and they now have to be responsible for things that are generally done for them at home, such as cooking, laundry and budgeting. Moreover, students from later years face the pressure of having to balance an increased workload, house bills, job applications, commuting to university every day as well as a lot of other things. Suddenly, university doesn�t seem like the perfect fantasy that we were told it would be. With a lot of things to balance at the same time, everything can hit like a truck.

I am personally someone that can relate very closely to having too much to do at the same time. Will I get everything done? Am I doing enough? What else do I need to do? These are questions that enter my mind at a regular basis. Alongside a very intense and challenging degree, I have several other commitments and responsibilities that I have to juggle at the same time, some of which are very time consuming and difficult. Not only does it cause a lot of stress and pressure, it sometimes feels like a pressure bubble has formed in my head which I can�t get out of. 

I see my friends from other degrees that face similar problems. On top of lectures, those studying maths related degrees have multiple assignments and problem sheets a week. Those studying humanities degrees have long essays to grind out at a regular basis, not to forget the hours of reading that goes along with it. Those doing science degrees have full days of intense and gruelling lab sessions as well as lab reports to complete. That�s just a handful of degrees I have mentioned, and people in other degrees experience equal difficulty. Clearly, managing a degree on its own is hard enough. But when you add in things such as commuting and dealing with overcrowded buses, multiple job applications, never ending problems with landlords and even making sure that your housemates clean the dishes, it can seem that everything is impossible to handle. I know people that have dismissed this as something that you are expected to deal with easily at university. But it is not as simple as that. When this pressure you are faced with becomes unrelenting and never ending then it can trigger feelings of anxiety and can have a detrimental impact on your mental health. And sadly, this is becoming more and more common at university, with more students than ever disclosing a mental health condition.

However, despite all the challenges you face at university, there are solutions that you can regularly implement in your routine that can go towards improving wellbeing. There are the obvious and well-known ways that provide effective long term solutions to improve your wellbeing such as seeking counselling and wellbeing services at your university. But it is worth noting that this may not be the best solution for everyone, and that there are other ways in which you can take care of yourself. Activities such as sports and exercising have been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on your wellbeing, and it is something that may help you if you have the capacity to do so. But even small things which don�t require a lot of effort and time such as treating yourself to a meal out, making time to do a hobby that you love or even going for a walk can have a massive impact. Personally, I have always enjoyed socialising and I use that as a way to destress, but everyone has different things that work for them.

Furthermore, if there was one specific piece of advice I would give you, it would be to keep things in perspective. There is a lot that we have to do as students at university, and there are times where it gets too much to handle, but your wellbeing and mental health is very important. In the moment it can feel like the essay deadline or exam that you may have is the only thing that matters right now, and that everything else doesn�t matter. This can make it extremely easy to lose perspective, as your mental health is something that will have a bigger impact in the long run than any essay or exam. It is important to realise when the pressure at university is getting to a point where your mental health is getting affected, as your mental health is something that cannot be neglected.

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third-year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I, therefore, want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and wellbeing, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

For more information on how to cope, check out this link.

What do I do after graduation?

Manuela writes about the uncertainty and anxiety of employment after uni, and the importance of self-care.

- Manuela

�I took the first job I could and ended up in a far worse state than I would have after a few more months at home working out what would make me happy�.

After Graduation - What Happens?

Once my course had finished, I clung by my fingernails to my tiny London flat until, jobless and bored stiff, I was collected by my parents after graduation. They whisked me back to the middle of rural nowhere, where I set up camp with my laptop and a notepad, and tried to think of what I�d learned over the past three years that might be an employable skill�. And so began the toughest year I�ve had to date.

My boyfriend and most of my friends had another year to go until graduation; to me it was imperative that I find a way back to them in London. But my greatest fear wasn�t loneliness, it was lack of identity. For the past three years I�d put �student� as my occupation, and for the past 19 years of my life my raison d'�tre was to fill my tiny head with knowledge. Now that I�d run out of things to learn, who was I now?

I had no idea whatsoever what I might enjoy, or what I would be good at in the �real world�. Through trial and error, I eventually discovered a job title for which the description seemed to fit my personality, and the benefits and starting salary seemed unbelievably generous. I landed my first interview for the position of �junior recruitment consultant�. Manuela - 1 : Hopelessness - 0. I was convinced I was on the road to success now. But I hadn�t stopped to consider what would make me happy�. 

Losing Myself to Work 

Fast-forward through a whirlwind of sickening interviews and miserable morning commutes, I�m a fledgling recruiter and I hate my life. I was balancing my job with rowing, a boyfriend and friends all still at university, staying �in shape� and job hunting for the mystery career that, I believed, would be my ticket to happiness. These were all leftovers from my former student life; I couldn�t throw them away. Most of my support network still being at university, I had nobody to benchmark against and nobody to recognise, when I couldn�t, exactly when �not OK� turned into �really not OK�. I was crying on the tube to and from work, at rowing I was terrified of messing up and consequently my performance plummeted. The only time my boyfriend and I could see each other was the occasional weekday evening and our relationship had started to nose-dive. I couldn�t remember what I used to be like at university, or what I was supposed to be looking for now. 

I hadn�t found a permanent flat, so I didn�t have a GP, let alone the time to go and see one. So it wasn�t until I finally turned to Google that I discovered there was a name for what I was feeling: anxiety. I�d never suffered from a mental health problem before - I struggled coming to terms with it so I sat on the problem for a while hoping it would go away. It took me another four months before I booked a doctors� appointment, by which time, I�d handed my manager my notice. 

I wouldn�t want anyone else who�s just graduated to make the same mistake as me. I was petrified of reaching September - the month I�ve always started a new term or school or subject - and finding myself trapped at home, doing absolutely nothing and feeling like I was worth even less. I took the first job I could and ended up in a far worse state than I would have after a few more months at home working out what would make me happy. 

Finding What Matters 

Now I�m in the exact same position as this time last year, but this time around, I�m backing myself. If spending my days in an office, or working in London will make me feel the way I felt, then I�m going to have enough self-respect and confidence to turn my back on that lifestyle. I�m going by trial and error again, but this time I�m trying my hand at freelance writing, trying to make enough to fund a lifestyle where I can spend the majority of my time outdoors. This time a year ago I didn�t believe I�d be good enough for a dream job if I did find it, let alone be confident enough to slow down and work out what I really valued. Now I respect myself enough to do what makes me feel good about myself. 

A job is a job, it will give you money, yes, and something to put on your LinkedIn. But if it�s going to be the thing you rely on to give you value and purpose, I�d urge you to stop for a moment. 

You don�t need a title to tell you you�re enough. Do what makes you happy.

I'm Manuela and I'm a King's College London graduate. I had excellent mental health until after university, when I immediately started suffering from anxiety. I'm sharing my experiences of struggling during the period immediately after university when most people lose the support they had while studying. I'm hopeful that by sharing my story and advice I'll be able to help people going through a similar experience realize that they're not alone.

You can find more support on anxiety here. Image taken from here.

Disclosing your mental health status to your university

In this blog Romana reflects on her experience of disclosing her mental health to her university, highlighting the range of options available to support students

-Romana

Disclosing your mental health problems to your university can be scary. Telling anybody that you�re struggling is daunting enough, but to have it written in your records - labelling you as having a long-term mental health condition or a disability - can be difficult. However, it is important to remember that in doing this, you may be able to access wellbeing support services that are available to you through your university. I am a fourth year student, and having ticked the �long-term mental health condition� box when I registered for university this year, I am finally learning about and accessing the services that are available to support me.

Every university will have a different process in regards to disclosing your mental health. Personally, having initially disclosed my mental health status, the first step for me was organising a meeting with the mental health pathway team. The aim of this was to help me to consider my support optionsacross the university, and to put adjustments in place where my mental health impacts my ability to study.

For example, as a result of my illness, I often struggle to motivate myself in the mornings, as this is the time of day that I experience low mood and negative thoughts. As a result, more often than not I don�t attend my morning lectures. This meeting with the mental health pathway team has lead to my timetable being adjusted for next term, so that lectures are predominantly scheduled for afternoons where possible. This will stop me from feeling disappointed and demotivated as a result of missing lectures, as well as ensuring that I do not fall behind in my studies.

Furthermore, on my lowest days I will often find it especially difficult to work, complete assignments, or even get out of bed. Instead I�ll spend entire days sleeping, avoiding responsibility, with no regard for the consequences. This isn�t because I�m lazy; I just feel helpless, useless, and I genuinely struggle to find purpose in these days. However, another result of this meeting was that I am now able to easily apply for deadline extensions if I find that I am struggling, or that work is overwhelming me and building up. Whilst I hope that I won�t have to push back my deadlines, it is comforting to know that if everything seems to be going wrong, I will be able to relieve the pressure by giving myself a few extra days to complete my work. 

But personally, my biggest support service is my personal tutor. Once I had disclosed my illness to the university, he immediately emailed me to organise for us to meet once every two weeks; to check up on me and to see how I am getting on. When I am feeling good, I talk to him about the modules that I�m enjoying, my extra-curricular activities, and how my search for a graduate job is coming along. When I am feeling bad, he offers me the academic and emotional support that inspires me to keep going. I know that not everybody is happy with their personal tutor support, so I consider myself extremely lucky that my tutor is so compassionate.

I know that besides the services that I am accessing right now, there are loads more that are available to me. These include exam adjustmentssuch as extra time and sitting exams in a smaller room, wellbeing therapy services and disabled students� allowance, which offers a personal mentor for weekly support meetings.

These services are there because the university want to see students succeed, and they want to support students in doing so.  Everybody wants to get me through my final year, and I want to get through my final year, finishing with a top grade in spite of my mental illness. So even though it can feel like admitting defeat - giving in and accepting that I need support - I believe that disclosing my illness to the university and accessing support services are essential in ensuring my success this year.

My name is Romana, and I am a fourth year Maths student at the University of Exeter. I have never been one to open up about my struggles with mental health, but I have decided to write for the Student Minds blog as a way to express and understand what I have been going through, as well as to hopefully bring reassurance to others who are feeling as I have.

Treat Yourself

Rachel discusses self-esteem and success. 

So many people over the years have told me that the key to success is 'working really hard'. Dedication together with food, water, and sleep are a crucial mix to achieve any goal.

And that is where the advice often ends.

But clocking as many hours as possible is not a recipe for success. It's a recipe for short-term gain and long-term destruction (Fleming, 2018). Not only do 72-hour weeks contribute towards reducing a person's dedication, but they also impact negatively on the other important elements of success. If you are working 12-hour days, chances are you are also skipping meals, on a caffeine drip, and not catching enough sleep. Human beings are not made to operate like machines.

Having volunteered for years with GirlGuiding UK, I have watched time and time again as schools put an intense amount of pressure on students to 'work harder', 'do more', and 'get better'. But all these students are hearing is 'I am not good enough'. Is it any wonder 82% students suffer from stress and anxiety (Veiber, 2017)?

Now is the time to refocus. If we chose to look at our successes rather than our failures and acknowledge our efforts over our shortfalls, we can form a positive view on the work that we are committing and recommitting to every single day (Herald, 2014).

�Here�s your protection for whatever comes: Find something to be happy about every day, and every hour if possible, moment-to-moment, even if only for a few minutes.� - Gregg Braden

Mr Braden has it right! The only thing he doesn't warn us though, is that positivity isn't easy to achieve. It doesn't appear over night. Sometimes we need a little boost to help us get through! Science shows that individuals providing themselves small incentives improve their self control and energy, feeling contended, comforted, and cared for. The contrary is also true; when an individual fails to incentivise themselves, they can burn out, becoming depleted and resentful (Rubin, 2014).

This is where I come to my title: Treat Yourself! On the days you are struggling, banging your head against the wall is not going to help. But going out for a brisk walk, having a real cup of coffee (not the instant stuff!), or doing whatever it is you enjoy doing in your 'me time' - might! Providing oneself with treats is proven to help maintain healthy and good habits (Rubin, 2014).

I am currently in the midst of revision. Now it is crunch time - exams are around the corner. I cannot devour enough information quickly enough! That said, spending eight hours a day hunched over books can become monotonous and ultimately demoralising - I have yet to meet someone who loves revision.

So I break up my day with little treats to keep me going; I practice some mindfulness techniques, volunteer, get a manicure, have a cup of hot chocolate (I'm not a fan of coffee!), work on an art project, or even write a blog post! There are millions of different things you can do to help you over a 'hump'! There is no one-size-fits-all. Keep trying until you find whatever it is that works for you!

I hope whatever it is you choose to be and whatever it is you choose to do to break up your day; you find something that puts a smile on your face!

I have found self-rewarding to be one of the most effective strategies for handling stress. You may have other tips or methods, so please feel free to share them in the comments section!

Rachel Gordon is a student at Brunel University London, reading Business and Management Bsc. A creative writer, Rachel is also an active blogger at her site www.millennial-me.co.ukand in a recent collaborative project, she released a motivational calendar for the year 2019 to raise funds for charity. Rachel volunteers for The Scouts Association and GirlGuiding UK; charities that offer a wide range of opportunities to children and has achieved awards for her dedication. Fluent in both English and Hebrew, she privately tutors Modern Hebrew at both Primary and Secondary Education Level.

For more articles, tips, or information, get in touch: @millennial_me_

Here are some supportive links if you're struggling with managing university stress: 

Starting University (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/startinguniversity.html)

Mind Matters (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/mindmatters.html) 

Fears, Futures, and Third Year

In this blog, Phoebe discusses final year stresses and the fear of life after university, giving some advice on how to manage these worries. 

I'm in my final year now. I'm very stressed and fearful that I may or may not have taken too much on. Certain things haven't gone to plan and the future is rather uncertain at the minute. 

Being a student isn't all fun and drinking games, but recently I've been feeling immensely overwhelmed by life. It's finally time to start getting approval for my dissertation, my third-year placement is beginning soon, and I kind of don't know where to begin with planning my life after university. 

I'm more than aware I'm not the only person in this situation. Many other people will be about to embark on the same pathway as me, so in the midst of my uncertainty here are a few thoughts I came up with: 

It's OK to feel like this: it's totally OK to not have everything figured out. I know myself enough to know that I can get through this, and similarly you will find your way. And if you need support, then seek it: everybody needs a helping hand at some point in their life. 

Reach out: Once, during my first year, I hit a real low with my mental health. It was one of the worst relapses I've ever had and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ask my friends for help because I was so scared that they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore. But they stayed with me until the early hours of the next day and it actually brought us closer together. So don�t be afraid.

Believe in yourself: I think the main thing I'm going to rely on this year is myself. I know that I work hard and I know that I can do this: this current stress will pass. I'm going to give this year my best shot and if I don�t get the grade I want, then actually, that's fine. My best is all I can give and my best also involves taking care of myself. 

Take care of yourself: Recently I realised that there a lot of potential limitations to my research project and I'm absolutely petrified that it won't work. Whilst I've been an anxious mess, getting disproportionately stressed, I completely missed the connection that would tie my topics together. Taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself might actually end up being the one thing that helps you carry on. 

There may be overwhelming moments lurking in the future; stress may be about to surmount to quite high levels; but I guarantee you one thing: you are more than capable. Everything you need is within you and there is so much support available around you, for you to use when you need, and to help you reach where you want to go. 

My name is Phoebe, I�m 20 and a 3rd year Psychology student at Nottingham Trent University. I spend a lot of time campaigning for mental health awareness and I�m an ambassador for a number of mental health organisations including Beat and Time to Change.  I also have my own personal blog which I�ll leave the link to here: https://phoebebarr6.wixsite.com/website. Feel more than free to get in touch!

  

�But I�m not depressed enough�: Don�t wait for crisis point to seek help

Romana writes about her experiences of mental health difficulties and the importance of recognising the signs, speaking up early and asking for help.

- Romana

�By allowing myself to reach such a low point of my life before I finally got help, I made my recovery so much harder than it needed to be�.

I always knew that I was probably a little depressed. I displayed plenty of symptoms; low mood and self-esteem, avoiding social events, feelings of emptiness, self-harm. But, I was in a good relationship, I had good friends, and often, I was genuinely quite happy. Plus, I argued that because I didn�t match every symptom, I was probably coping fine. I didn�t struggle to concentrate. I was quite often tired, yes, but that was probably normal. And I definitely wasn�t suicidal. �There are people out there who are really struggling�, I thought, �I�m not depressed enough�. 

However, a friend urged me to visit a counsellor. I went, and I started a 6-week course of CBT. Although this was probably the right thing to do, I didn�t really engage with the therapy. I liked sitting down and talking to somebody about my thoughts, but I made no effort outside of the sessions. I didn�t attempt the activities that the therapist recommended. I didn�t journal my thoughts and feelings, or push myself to go to any social events. I just thought: I don�t need to have my life organised by a counsellor, I�m not depressed enough�.

When therapy ended, I carried on as I had been. I�m hardworking, so I spent a lot of time at university studying. I didn�t join any societies, I didn�t do any sports, and I definitely didn�t socialize if I could help it. Instead I would mostly just work alone in my room. I was putting immense pressure on myself to succeed and, coupled with my consistent low mood, it became a very delicate emotional balance; one which was nearly at tipping point. 

During exam season, I was confident. But then one day, I was having lunch alone, and I had a terrible panic attack. I was terrified: it felt like my entire mind and existence were falling away from me. Sitting in bed with a cup of tea afterwards, I had another. Then, that evening during dinner, another. My mind connected the dots in the wrong places, and I blamed mealtimes for this awful panic that I was feeling. The obvious solution seemed to stop eating. By my final exam, I was weak, overwhelmingly anxious, and felt like I might break down at any second. Somehow, I made it through the two-hour exam, but by the next day I had been taken home from university very ill. 

I spent the entire summer attempting to recover, trying to crawl out of the hole that I had fallen into. The hardest part was overcoming my fear of eating. I was referred to the psychiatric liaison team at the hospital, and then to the depression and anxiety service. At this point, I was really struggling. I felt helpless, and without hope. I found it hard to envision my future anymore, and struggled to fathom how I could ever be happy again. Gradually, my wellbeing improved over the three months of summer, and I was able to return to university for my final year. 

To get to where I am now has been such a long and difficult journey. By allowing myself to reach such a low point of my life before I finally got help, I made my recovery so much harder than it needed to be. Rather than accepting the help of a therapist early on, or reaching out and talking to my parents about how I felt, it took letting myself completely break down before I finally believed that I was depressed enough for help. 

The reality is: any behaviour, thoughts or feelings that are out of the ordinary for you are worth your attention. Whether your diet and sleep patterns are suffering; or you can�t find the energy to socialize anymore; or maybe sometimes your mind wanders to dark places. Ask yourself why this is happening, and make an effort to change it. It is so important not to ignore how you�re feeling, just because you don�t match all the symptoms, or because you don�t believe that your problems are valid enough. Maintaining a positive wellbeing is always important, and I can�t emphasize enough how important it is to speak up and ask for help as soon as you notice that something is wrong. 

You can find more support on depression here, anxiety here, and eating disorders here. 

My name is Romana, and I am a fourth year Maths student at the University of Exeter. I have never been one to open up about my struggles with mental health, but I have decided to write for the Student Minds blog as a way to express and understand what I have been going through, as well as to hopefully bring reassurance to others who are feeling as I have.

#DearFresherMe: 5 Tips on how to maintain mental wellbeing

Emily writes about the experience of starting University, and gives five tips on how to maintain mental wellbeing.

- Emily

Having finished my degree and graduated from Swansea University this summer, and having a younger brother preparing to return to Swansea for his second year, I have found myself feeling disappointed that I�m not one of those students either excitedly looking forward to going back to University, or anticipating starting University for the first time. 

If I could rewind the past five years and start my time at Swansea University all over again, I would. There are some things that I would definitely do differently, and there are some things that I wish I knew when I started University. 

1) Firstly, I would not try so hard to �fit in�. My thing has absolutely never been nights out involving alcohol and clubs and bars. In my first year, I paid so much money for a Freshers� wristband and I only went to one event, which I ended up leaving almost as soon as I arrived because I had a panic attack. It wasn�t until I joined the Hogwarts society halfway during the first term that I really started to settle in a bit more, and make close friends. 

2) Secondly, if I could relive my entire University experience again, I would try to make more of my compulsory year abroad. Whilst I feel that my mental health difficulties prevented me from getting the most out of it, studying abroad is such a fantastic and valuable opportunity, so I would still definitely recommend it!

3) Thirdly, I would definitely get involved with Student Media opportunities a lot sooner than I did. Being involved with Swansea Student Media, especially the students� newspaper � Waterfront � was something that I got so much out of and became extremely passionate about and just enjoyed it so very much. I would make the most of such opportunities and other volunteering or work experience opportunities. 

4) Fourthly, if I could do University again, I think I would focus on myself a lot more, in terms of relationships, my sexuality and discovering who I am. I spent too much time trying to impress people who perhaps, in hindsight, I definitely should not have been trying so hard to impress. Instead, I would try to love myself more.

5) Finally, I think I would tell myself to just focus on my own journey, my own degree, and my own experiences and to try not to worry about having to impress people whether it�s friends, family, colleagues etc.! Also, I would remind myself that it�s okay to change my mind about what I want to do after graduation! 

We go to University with our own priorities, looking to experience different things and some people struggle to adapt more than others do. One of the main things that I have taken from my University journey is that it�s perfectly okay to put myself first, and not worry so much about trying to fit in and impress other people.

You can find more support on starting university, and managing some of the challenges it brings, here. 

My name is Emily (Em). I have recently graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting; I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students� newspaper � Waterfront. I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues as a student and now as a graduate, as well as other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences � both in helping me to explore and to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.

The Importance of Self-Care as a Student Nurse

Jess shares her experience of being a second year student nurse while juggling self-care and trying to find a healthy work-life balance.

- Jess

As a student nurse you're taught from day one about the importance of compassion, care and empathy towards patients, and reminded to look after yourself as well. However, in reality fitting self-care into a busy routine can be very difficult.

As a mature student I already had a well-established job, my own home and a long-term relationship under my belt. I'd established my foundations but felt that it was time for me to do my nurse training. When I started my course however, I became increasingly anxious; I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious and was thinking too far ahead into the future.

I'm an inward thinker but my thoughts started to keep me awake at night. The constant overthinking began to have a negative impact on myself, so I decided that because my nursing means so much to me, that I couldn't let my anxiety take control and I started seeing a counsellor.

Initially I kept things to myself, I'd never been great at talking about my feelings and because I've always managed to appear composed, I felt like I could continue in that way. I'd stay composed when I needed to and then try and deal with the fallout in private, alone.

I felt like I was living two separate lives. I had the professional, hardworking side that was exceeding my own and other�s expectations. Then this other side of me that behind closed doors, had never cried so much, worried as excessively, or felt as deeply unhappy.

Counselling helped me gradually with being able to gain some control back. It took a long time as progress was slow but eventually it became less intense. However, I couldn't see that as the anxiety lessened because I'd subtly gone into overdrive. Alongside clinical placements and studying, I was working part time, and my relationship reached its conclusion; I had no time to see friends or take time out and I wasn't looking after myself. The worst part is that I didn't care either.

My appetite disappeared, I couldn't muster the brainpower to make simple decisions like what to eat. I was managing on very little sleep and eventually I was running on empty, and unsurprisingly my mood plummeted. I heard people saying I looked unwell, but I didn't listen, not until it became more frequent and I decided that whilst counselling was helping, I needed to see my GP and admit that I'd become depressed.

I didn't want to start medication, but I needed to. Thankfully I had a positive experience with my GP. He listened attentively, empathised with me and acknowledged that I was genuinely at a low point and struggling.

Slowly I started to open up to people around me, don't get me wrong I didn't start shouting it from the rooftops but I did talk to people I trust, and admitting I was struggling started to lift some of the shame and guilt I felt.

Looking back, it's as though I had to learn the hard way to recognise the importance of taking care of my own mental and physical health. I can't effectively care for others if I'm not taking the time to be compassionate towards myself.

I know there'll be times when I struggle in the future, but I've gained invaluable coping skills from counselling. I have a stable base with medication and know now that it's ok for me to say when I'm struggling and that it doesn't mean I won't become a good nurse. If anything it allows me to be more empathetic towards those that I will look after throughout my career.

My name is Jess and I'm currently studying Adult Nursing at the University of Bradford. I wanted to share my experience because it's difficult to admit you're struggling with your mental health when your chosen profession focuses so much on looking after others, making self-care very difficult at times. Hopefully this will help other nursing students to look after themselves throughout their training

Doing University Teetotal

Becky writes about ways of approaching University life alcohol free.

- Becky Reed

University years are often positioned as a time to get blind drunk several times a week and wake up not knowing what on earth happened the night before. For some people that's great, but for some of us, drinking at university is a no-go, whether that is for cultural reasons, personal preference, or because of medical reasons. This, especially when starting uni, can be quite daunting. 

Two months before starting university I was prescribed anti-depressants that would be dangerous to consume alcohol with. If I had not been moving to university in a couple of months, being forced to become teetotal would not have been a problem. I had never been a big drinker - I just liked to have a drink now and again with friends (sometimes to make me more confident). But, because of the drinking culture that surrounds university, I became very anxious about not being able to drink. I thought I would be the only one at uni that didn't drink. I thought everyone would think I was boring, and therefore that I would not make any friends. 

I spoke about my worries with my therapist, parents, and close friends. This was really helpful, but I cannot pretend that their advice took all the anxiety away. It did, though, help me come up with a bit of a plan of how to approach the subject with my new flat mates and friends at university.

I was adamant that I did not want them to know I had a mental illness. At this point, I hadn't come to terms with my diagnosis and was crippled (wrongly) by embarrassment, shame and guilt. Therefore, I came up with these options. Please have a think about which one would work best for you, should you find yourself in a similar situation. 

1. Tell them you are on medication (even if you're not). This was the option I went with. Partly because it was true, but also because I didn't believe anyone would argue with this. I told them I was on medication because I had become physically ill over the summer (this was actually true, but this wasn't the medication that stopped me drinking). From my experience, people respect this, and the majority of the time they tend not to ask any more questions.

2. Tell them you are on antibiotics. This is similar to the above, however, just be aware you can probably only keep this one up for a couple of weeks.

3. Tell them you don't like it. This is a perfectly reasonable option to go with. There is nothing wrong with not enjoying it. Hopefully people will respect this, but some may try and encourage you more than you may like. 

4. Always get your own drink. You could pretend you have put an alcoholic beverage into your soft drink.

5. Always volunteer to be the designated driver: Obviously, this will only work if you have a car and actually need transport to get to wherever you're going.

6. Tell them the truth. This is daunting I know. I couldn't even begin to contemplate this option - I didn't know how people I had only just met would react. This said, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and if people react negatively, this shows more about them than it does about you. 

Ok, so you have told your new university friends that you are teetotal. Now the next challenge� how do you enjoy university to the same extent as everyone else? It is 100% possible, I promise.

1. Get involved with activities that don't involve drinking. For example, join a society so you can meet like-minded people.

2. Encourage your new friends to meet up for a meal. A lot of emphasis can be put on going out at uni, but by organising a daytime activity it can be an ideal way to catch up with friends without feeling guilty for not drinking.

3. Don't be afraid to go on nights out sober. Ok, so the likelihood is that the majority of students will drink, but, this does not mean you can't still have fun with them. The thought of socialising can be terrifying at the best of times, and you may wish you could just have a drink to help you relax. I would just say to try this a few times. See how it makes you feel. Maybe discuss it with someone you meet at uni and get on with.

4. Don't be afraid to say no. Know your limits and what keeps you healthy. If you don't want to go out� don't. If you don't want to drink� don't. You could tell the truth, or make up an excuse. Have a think about what works for you.  Please at no point feel pressure. If they are your true friends, they will understand.

Whenever you're worried that you should be drinking for whatever reason, just remember you're not going to wake up with a stinking hangover in the morning!


Hey, I�m Becky. I�m a final year student studying Sport and Social Sciences at the University of Bath. I have been living with generalised anxiety for a number of years, and have, more recently, suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and episodes of severe depression. I wanted to write for Student Minds to show there�s light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it seems.'

Time to Rebuild

Michael writes about how a fresh start to the year can help you to focus on your goals.

Michael Rigby

The new year has arrived. Many people will be saying that old quote; �new year, new me�. I wonder how many times we�ve stated that. I�ve been saying the same words for the past few years now actually- I even said it again this year for 2018. Will I be successful this time? I guess I�ll find out in twelve months.

At this moment, I feel a difference. I�ve started the year by signing up for challenges such as treks for charity; I haven�t done anything like that for two years, and even then I�d already lost the love for physical challenges. But this year, as soon as the clock struck midnight and 2018 had arrived, I started rebuilding once again.

I�ve been attempting to rebuild since 2016. I can�t tell you the number of times I�ve fallen back down and failed the attempt, each time knowing I will have to pick myself up again. However, this time I feel the hunger. Sometimes in life, you have to get knocked down further than you might want. Everyone has a limit, and I�ve finally found mine. I had enough of fighting with my mind each day- 2018 has to be the year I rebuild. The pieces will never go back into the same spot because my life has changed; I must re-invent myself, and that�s a challenge I�m happy to take on. I get to be the CEO of my own life and decide how I want to live it.

Therefore, I advise anyone who reads my posts; it is a new year and it can be a new you. You just have to make it happen. Whatever the situation you�re in, it can and will get better- don�t let anything negative define your future.

If anyone wants to view my instagram blog based on Mental Health, then follow @walkingtallclub. If you�re wondering what it�s all about, go and check it out.

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.

Think Positive, Be Positive: how positive thinking can improve your outlook and well-being

Emma writes about how positive thinking can improve both your outlook and general well-being.

-Emma Dukes

Before beginning, I would just like to say that it will not be one of those, �happiness is a choice� sort of posts. I am aware that for a lot of us, being happy or positive is extremely difficult and often seemingly impossible. The aim of this post, rather, is to offer strategies to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, thus eventually creating an increasingly positive outlook and making happiness more achievable.

I am probably the worst person when it comes to negative thinking and overthinking. I can make the most normal comment or situation massively negative within seconds. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, which in itself makes any sort of failure or disappointment a million times worse. But I�ve discovered many different ways to lessen this and make my thought process a lot more positive and manageable.

To begin the journey towards positive thinking, it�s important to first accept the reasons behind your current thought process. Also, remember that you are not expected to be positive all of the time, nor are you going to magically stop overthinking. However, I believe that if you are optimistic and positive, you are more likely to achieve your goals and have a healthier outlook on life.

What does positive thinking actually do?

It is widely believed that positive thinking is a way of life that simultaneously makes us stronger and manifests positive results. The idea is that if you have a positive attitude, this will be broadcast to those around you, making your interactions and relationships stronger and thus encouraging you feeling more confident in yourself. If you go into a situation expecting the worst or thinking negatively, it is likely that you will receive a negative outcome. This is because the stress of overthinking can cause you to not perform to the best of your ability and cause you to lack confidence. Whereas if you tell yourself you will succeed, the positive energy will give you the boost you need to do so. It is also thought that positive thinking has the ability to improve overall health. This is because positive attitudes often allow people to focus on eating well, exercising and avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Positive thinking can improve:

� Self esteem
� Confidence
� Relationships
� Education
� Mental illness

So, how do I get there?

Positive thinking can be difficult, especially if you strongly believe you�re not a worthwhile person or that you�re guaranteed to fail. The best way to begin to replace negative thoughts is to notice them, accept them and then replace them with contrasting ones. Contrastingly, dwelling on these thoughts reinforces the negativity, making it much harder to think of and focus on the positive. For example, if you�re thinking �I can�t do this�, tell yourself, �I can�. There will be difficulty and the negative thoughts may creep back in, but persistence is key. The more you train your mind to adapt to this new way of thinking, the better results you�ll achieve. 

Positive affirmations are also a great technique. My favourite concept is not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn�t say to anyone else. Every day, try to tell yourself 5 things you like about yourself or 5 things that you�re proud of. I find this especially useful regarding body image. If I�m having a bad day, I make myself find 5 positive things about my least favourite parts of my body, for example, �I may not like my legs but they�re strong, I like my tattoo and they look nice in jeans.�

The most important step is to be self-reliant and to only surround yourself with people who make you feel good. If you rely on others and they disappoint you, you�re likely to blame yourself and fall back into negative thinking. Remind yourself that you do not need others to make you feel important, you are capable of achieving your goals by yourself and that you are your number one priority.

I�m Emma and I�m studying Journalism at the University of Winchester. I�ve suffered with anxiety and anorexia for a long time so thought I�d share my own experiences to hopefully help others on the same journey to recovery.

Mental Health over Christmas: Tazmin

It can be hard to put yourself first sometimes, especially at Christmas. Tazmin talks about how she prioritises self-care, and deals with the pressures of gift-giving.

- Tazmin

1.  What do you enjoy most about the winter holiday period?

I love that it gives you a chance to connect with the people in your life, friends and family alike, who you may not have seen in a while. I always find that it�s the perfect time to catch up with old friends from school and college, and make new memories with your family. It�s also an opportunity to slow down from the busy world, which can get busier during the winter holidays, and connect with yourself � relax inside, cosy up with a good book or movie and have some time with you. It�s a very cosy period of time and there�s nothing better than a warm snuggle with yourself.

2.  What do you find most difficult during the holidays?

I find the pressure of the festivities slightly overwhelming in terms of finances and expectations. I struggled with money all through university and even though I�ve just graduated this is still no exception. Being surrounded by advertisements, Christmas markets, even daily emails surging into my inbox, I can feel a great deal of pressure to buy gifts for the people I love. I also feel like I�m a bad person if I don�t � but for someone who is in a difficult financial situation and trying to get out of it, this added stress must be ignored and put to one side. I try to remind myself that there�s more to this festive period than gifts and if the people in my life fail to understand that, it speaks more of them and nothing of me. This holiday is about spending time with people you love, playing in the snow like children again, laughing and enjoying the company of yourself. Spend time to reflect on the year and all you have achieved, rather than thinking you�ve come up short.

3.  Taking some time out from all the festivities to look after yourself can be really helpful. What do you do to help your mental health during the holidays?

The world is a busy place, especially during university, and there are always so many deadlines fast approaching or just flying straight past. Friends to see and catch up with, and family engagements to participate in. But sometimes it�s nice � and necessary � to have some time out: sit back, get cosy, and enjoy being you for a little bit. It can be truly uplifting for your well-being to be surrounded by people who you care for and love, but I�ve often found that once you�re on your own again the contrast can bring you down. Make time to bond with yourself in the ways that make you happy; like I�ve said before, I make friends with myself by getting cosy after a good day and spending the evening along with a great movie that I love, usually The Muppets Christmas Carol!

4.  What present would you give yourself over the holidays?

I think the gift I would give to myself over the holidays is a meditative retreat somewhere beautiful in the world such as Spirit Rock in California; a chance to spend some time with myself, heal, and go on an adventure to see another part of this wonderful world.

6.  What are your New Year�s Resolutions?

I understand the concept of New Year�s resolutions, that they can motivate people to change their lives or lifestyle for the better in the next year ahead. However, I make new resolutions whenever I feel the need for them to be made. I think waiting for the New Year to make a resolution prevents it from really coming true. If there�s something in your life you want to change, never wait � just do it. For example, if you are a smoker and say you�re going to quit smoking in the New Year, don�t carry the bad habit on until then, just start quitting now. Waste no time waiting. Do what needs to be done to ensure you�re happy now and for the future.


If you would like to get involved in our Christmas blogging series, you can find all of the details here.

Hey everyone, I�m Taz. My journey suffering with depression and anxiety has been and can continue to be a difficult one; but I would not be who I am today had I not accepted my illness and work hard to get better. I have recently graduated from Sheffield Hallam University with a First in Film and Media Production. I�ve been writing my blog Awareness for over two years and it has been truly rewarding for me. I write about the things many people fear talking about � our wonderfully complex minds. I wish to encourage anyone suffering through university and offer them a helping hand. Happy reading.

Travelling with Stress and Depression: 5 tips on making beautiful memories

Zahra provides her top 5 tips on how to make the most of travelling when you're dealing with stress and depression. 

- Zahra Rahman 

Travelling is a great way to learn about new cultures, foods and people. It might not magically cure you of the negative feelings in your life, but it is a great experience and can help you take a break and gain some perspective. As a sufferer of depression, I have a few tips that may help you look on the brighter side of travelling and that will also, hopefully, give you the encouragement to travel if you haven�t before!


1) Plan ahead 

A drastic change � even a positive one � taking place without any planning can be extremely daunting, so do as much research as you can before you go. Check the FCO website for any travel updates, research where the nearest pharmacy or doctor is, locate the beaches, pack your EHIC card and buy some travel insurance. Having an FCO travellers� checklist to hand is a great way to help you before you set off.

2) Take your closest friend or family member � or both!

Travelling solo can be an amazing; you can learn a lot about yourself and have a completely different experience. However, if that�s just too big at this stage in your life then it�s fine to save that trip for another time. Having a close friend with you when travelling means you have someone to support you, as well as sharing your excitement and experience. They�ll probably even make things more exciting for you!

3) Build confidence

Being away from home is a great time to try out new things and venture outside of your comfort zone. You never know, that confidence you build abroad might even stay once you return home. That�s not to say that you should aim to come back from a trip as a completely different person; learn to love yourself for who you are and take steps to build a better version of you.

4) Don�t just go to the tourist parts

I have been to Turkey twice so far. The first time I went to Bodrum, which was a great holiday but obviously a tourist spot; restaurants served �English Breakfasts� and all the music in the bazaars were American pop songs.

The second time I did a road trip around all of Turkey, which was amazing. However, one thing hit me hard: I saw two boys aged between 5-8 years old, begging for money on the metro. The younger boy had a bandage over his eye and looked so, so tired. His older brother was dragging him along the carriage, scared of losing him.
This broke my heart, but also began to fix me. I realised that I may have some negatives in my life that stress me out, but I am not in the position of those children. These kids are struggling to stay alive.
Seeing tragedies sometimes hits your own reality hard, but gives your mental health a positive effect.

5) Take photos and videos: Be trigger happy on the camera!

Don�t worry, you don�t need to be a professional photographer or have a top end DSLR to do this. Whatever pictures and videos you take are just for you, to remember the amazing time you had, how you grew as a person and how that country was a part of it. Looking at your memories will pick you up on a bad day and will get you planning your next holiday. And you never know, one day you will be that solo traveller!


You can follow the FCO on Facebook and Twitter @FCOtravel and on Instagram under @ukforeignoffice for further information and travel safety advice.

Hi! My name is Zahra Rahman and I am a Digital Media Student at the University of Brighton. I love laughing, travelling, food, Bollywood and getting involved with charities that help vulnerable people across the world. The one thing I say to myself when things get tough is, "This is happening for a good reason". Stay positive and keep smiling!

Resources for overcoming Mental Health Difficulties

Michael shares his go-to resources for mental health difficulties.

- Michael Rigby

There are so many resources that will help you get back up after being knocked down. However, we don�t always realise this� we tend to think we have nothing that can help us. I�ve probably asked myself more than a thousand times: �how do I get back up from this?� I even have a couple of falls to this day, but that�s just part of the rebuilding process. Here is a list of resources that could help:

1: Family/Friends- These are the key people who will always be there for you, whether you�re at your best or your worst. Never forget to show your appreciation for these people: you only get one set of parents, and friends can be just like family. I�m not saying that all friends will be there for you at your moment of weakness,  but re-evaluate your group of friends you have and think about the ones who are there for you as much as you are there for them. Those people will help you, and you will probably find that you�re helping them as well.

2: Physical Activity- I understand not everyone likes this subject. However, it�s proven that exercising daily for at least 30 minutes to an hour will improve your mental health as well as your physical health. Also, it can be a massive stress-reliever. You can�t beat the feeling of putting on headphones and blocking out this stressful world for an hour.

3: YouTube- I�ve managed to find many motivational videos that have been put together by professionals. Honestly, I think they are brilliant. My personal favourite: �Unbroken by Mateusz M�, a video that includes inspirational lines from motivational speakers Les Brown and Eric Thomas, and the late Louis Zamperini and Steve Jobs.

4: The background of your role models- Many people tend to think that big names have had it easy and are lucky to be where they are in life. However, that�s not always the case. These people are also human, just like the rest of us, and you�ll find that these individuals share our stories in some way. I personally think autobiographies are very engaging reads and you�ll get an insight into what life was like before �success�. At the moment, I�m reading the autobiography of the well known comedian Kevin Hart. Personally, I think the story is fantastic. To see somebody fight and crawl to make it to the big time inspires me. He�s not the only person to have had a difficult life before fame. Therefore, think of one of your role-models and go and read their story.

You�ll find that everyone has a story, but what matters is how you choose to write the next chapter. These people were just like us� the only difference is that they�re making their story the best it can possibly be. You could say �they�re true success stories� which is true. However, they�re also just people who didn�t let hard times defeat them; that�s the true success of their stories.

We all know these times are difficult. However, we have to keep going. Nothing that is dragging you down should be allowed to defeat you or define who you are as a person. You�re not weak, you�re not a quitter, you�re one of the strongest people in the world. Only the very few can relate to how hard it is to battle with your mind everyday. You will overcome this� you just have to KEEP FIGHTING!



Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety, since the age of 14.